Kiss of Death

My daughter has decided she doesn't want to kiss on the lips hello and goodbye. 

She says it's weird.

I don't have alot of rules. I say look, my mom always said you have to kiss hello and goodbye cause you never know when it will be your last time. So let's have this one rule, it's a good rule.

I would go to kiss her and she will shrink, look sideways, and twist her mouth sideways.

I finally got mad enough that I took her phone and wouldn't give it back til she kissed me. 

Then it got weird. Like we were making small talk and all she wanted was her phone and THEN waiting for a kiss is weird. So I told her look man, this is how we do it in our family. I still kiss my dad on the lips. He kisses my brothers. It's OKAY.

I know I'm HIDEOUS, I say. But I'm not asking you to KILL JEWS. 

It's just a kiss.

So I got my kiss. Each time is incredibly awkward, this idiot who I have kissed her whole life since she came out at that hospital from INSIDE MY BODY.

Let's just get through this year, I told B. Let's just survive 14 years old. With this, our flower in hiding, Bess.