I need another blog, all about anxiety, I think.
I went on a trail ride with Dewey today, and the girl from the arena (the 47 year old girl) that we ride with. She has a white horse that Dewey likes, in fact, I spend the whole trail ride looking at the white horse's butt as we follow.
Why does it have to take time to not be anxious? This is only our second trail ride down this insanely curvy, foresty, up and down riverbeds, duck under and around trees videogame type ride. The first time I was just trying to live through it, not knowing how 4 year old baby horse Dewey would do (dew). This time I got to relax a teeny bit and know we'd make it through. And this time was so much fun, cause I knew when to duck, and how long it'd take to get home, and -- I guess what I love the most about riding with another person and feeling safe is that my age falls away and I get to just be that girl on that horse. We get to just be out riding and enjoying the beautiful day, and the rushing water and the horses navigating the creekbed with freezing water rushing over their feet, and the hawk in the tree and the leaves scattered on the ground. I get to be away, and as I get to know Dewey better, and we experience more, I get confidence in our partnership. Is this the way it is with everything?
I got to carry that beauty all day with me. The excitement of trying new things, the vibrant green grass, the water, and the trusty clip clop of Dewey my quiet friend.