Monday, October 05, 2015

What Else is There?

I'm baking bread, it's finally not so hot here in this desert city so you can actually think about having a cup of hot tea. I am dreaming about the ride I took this morning, in the dewy grass with the Dewey horse. I am writing a novel called Momish, or mostly not writing it but it is in the midst of being written or non written. These days I just want to play cards, or Parcheesi, or Scrabble, and listen to people, and pet dogs and gather eggs, or maybe I was always this person. My family is thick with tall people, there is always so much going on and so many things to cook or help with, I think when they're all at school I am happy because I can see the whole world opened up, and be glad to have my little part in it. I always wanted just this little part, this mom part, where you hold everything together. Because I am strong in that quiet way, where I'm hoping no one will notice or just notice a little bit, and love me a little bit. It would be really nice to have a clean garage so I could lay in bed and watch tv with the covers up to my nose and never have to get out and everything would be done so that would be okay. I would like to plan for that one. In the meantime, it's supposed to be broiling hot again by the end of the week, so maybe we will make the trek to the gorgeous and deserted Ventura beach in Oct. I haven't yet gotten over the summer, it feels too good to see the kids out there on the empty beach and in the waves, on a hot day. We all learn something (surfing, relaxing), and we get to be together. What else is there?